We have heard so much about the power and effects of positive thinking but do we actually believe in them? Let’s face it, in almost any serious situation, even the happiest of us tend to think of all negative possibilities and some of us even imagine ourselves drowning in a sea of worries and problems. No matter how much we believe in positivity and profess about it, many of us are still caught off-guard in an unpleasant situation.
But what if you knew you could have the relationship of your dreams forever if you could just start seeing the glass half full?
The Study
In a study recently published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Edward Lemay, a professor of psychology at the University of Maryland, found people who predicted that they would be satisfied with their relationship in the future were more committed to their partners and treated them more kindly in the present-day ( http://www.theatlantic.com).
Can you relate to all this? Have you found yourself knowing and believing that the relationship was doomed… and as a result it was? Or have you found yourself seeing the white picket fence in your dreams every night… and as a result, the relationship seemed happier and lasted longer? Have you been in a situation where nothing actually seemed to work out with your partner and you thought that your only resort was choosing isolation over spending time with him or her and being aloof? These are the characteristics of a negative person who is engulfed and immersed in his own life challenges and fails to see life beyond his perimeters.
We have a constant need to understand why it is that a negative mind surrounds you with all kinds of negative energy which, in turn, creates more problems for you in all aspects of leading a healthy life. Doctors and researchers have known for years that happier people live longer. The power of the mind is immense and beyond the understanding of any neurologist or even a psychologist. And now it seems that even our relationships are predetermined by our mindset. These hidden secrets of human psychology have been explored by the experts and yet the logic or the rationality seems to elude even them.
This is when a strength of faith comes into play with positive people. Research has found that regardless of the belief set, if a person has a sense that something else is helping them with their lives, optimist increases. Faith has long been established as the answer when logic fails to explain any problem at hand. It is when we believe naturally that everything happening is for the greater good and all the factors and elements are making us reach the brighter side of our lives that the glass suddenly becomes more full.
Even with relationships, the strength of an optimistic person lies in the fact that he keeps searching and enjoying good. They believe that there is no stopping them or the relationship and they do not believe there are any dead ends in life. This optimist in a relationship brings additional happy relationships to the world of the couple hence setting the stage for a less tense environment in general. Because he is ready to see the better side of every situation, the world feels calmer and as a result, the romantic relationship has a place to thrive without having to worry about the outside drama that often comes with a couple. He is comfortable in giving more and expecting less from the people around him, hence there is less disruption in his road to success.
Interestingly, predicting future satisfaction isn’t quite the same as being satisfied currently. You could, for example, be in a long-distance relationship at the moment, but expect that an upcoming move to the same city will boost your relationship happiness levels. According to Lemay’s research, it’s thinking about that happy ending that keeps people committed.
On the other hand, a pessimist is always stuck in the words “always” and “never.”He can never really remove himself from these two terms which he thinks define his life. It is people like these who believe that Brangelina is the ultimate reality of life and forget the hundreds of love stories that surround their lives.
It is very common for the pessimists to feel a victim of the circumstances. They already imagine all the possible bad outcomes of a situation and set very low goals for themselves and their relationships. This is their go to defensive mechanism which feels comfortable to them in coping with the anxiety that they fear will hinder their performances.
As negative feelings have negative effects on our bodies and brains, it is only logical that pessimism gives rise to a number of other medical concerns. In this infographic by Happify.com, we see in full color the joys and dismays that can come from which side of the bed we tend to wake up on (http://aplus.com/a/optimist-health-science-benefits?).
So what to do if you simply aren’t a very optimistic person in love or in life? For those Debbie Downers, Lemay suggests a behavioral hack. Simply think of something you believe will improve the quality of your relationship, like going on a date or vacation together. Do that thing, and you might just start seeing a brighter future for your partnership.
